“Did you take my wallet?” 

After going out one night, I decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts before heading back to campus. Heading down the escalator of the metro, I realized a white man was rapidly walking a few steps behind me. As both of us arrived in the metro, he asked me “have you seen my wallet?” Me: “No sir I have not. I’d check back in the store, you may have dropped it.” I had recognized him from in the store but hadn’t thought much of it. He proceeded to tell me that people in the store told him that I might have taken his wallet. He then walked closer towards me and asked “diD yOu TaKe mY wAlLeT?”, and pointed towards the wallet bulking out of my pocket. Filled with anger and fear responding calmly, I pulled out a picture of my family from my wallet and held it up to his face. At that moment all I could think about is trying my best to defuse the situation so that law enforcement would not have to get involved. This became one of the most unveiling accounts that I was a black man in a white space, and that I would have to learn how to navigate that for the rest of my life. 

Thinking back on the setting of Dunkin Donuts, I realized that I had been the only person of color in the establishment at that particular time, and thus had been profiled as a threat and accused of stealing a wallet from a white guy whom I had not even given one thought about nor even slightly interacted with. Two years later, I continue to be the black man in a plethora of white spaces, and I find that navigating those spaces continue to be both a challenge and a groundbreaking experience for me.  

If you’re a person of color, I’m sure that if you have not experienced some form of discrimination before, you may at some point in your life. Everyone is different, as well as their experience, so I really don’t have a concrete answer for how to deal with being black in a white space. In almost every space that I enter I am the only black male or at best one of the very few. But, I think that being one of a few people that look like you is something you get used to. And, it’s definitely something you grow from. It used to be this constant feeling of un-comfort and uncertainty for me, and sometimes it still is. It’s normal to feel separate or alone or even different. Sometimes you feel like no one can ever understand what you feel or at times what you’re going through. Well, I am here to tell you that you are not alone and neither are you the first. 

1. Diverse spaces do exist, or at best more diverse ones do. There are spaces that value and actively promote diversity. I think it’s important that I share this with you all because as a minority attending a PWI, it’s easy to assume that this environment is a microcosm of our society. And while that may be true, I wanted to share about the representation that existed among the staff at my internship experience here in the capitol. Unlike other laboratories and government places of business, the Consolidated Forensic Laboratories in D.C. shocked me. OCME housed a staff of medical examiners who were mostly black and a team of forensic investigators, researchers, and professionals that were of different shades and from different backgrounds from all over the world. Representation is profound as a minority student, it provides a path for you to achieve the same levels of success that people of color before you have. With that being said, I encourage you to seek out opportunities that promote diversity in the workplace and that are seeking to bridge the gap in minority representation. In return, let’s make it our collective responsibility, later on, to pay it forward by creating more opportunities and spaces for minorities just like those before us have done. 

2. You cannot avoid being discriminated against, however, you are in control of what you do with the pain that can come along with that. Though unfortunate, unjust, and unfair — my experiences have made me more conscious and have actually motivated me to work harder, although I know the system is actively working against me. They have also taught me how to perform self-care daily. If you’ve experienced or are experiencing forms of discrimination that are harboring down on you, please seek professional help. I must encourage that you talk to a professional who is a person of color but if you do not have the means or the comfort to do so, as an alternative I recommend talking to your friends or even a mentor that has experienced what you have. Even at the height of their career, they continue to experience what we experience, and they have been where we are. As a creative, I also recommend finding an outlet that you can use to heal you. Find a way to express those feelings in the most healthy way possible and allow your art or work to speak for you when it’s too difficult to speak out loud. If you find that you are having trouble finding a way to heal, keep looking until you do — something out there will. 

3. Choose your battles. Everything that someone says to you or about you doesn’t deserve a reaction. For your own sanity and self-preservation decide what you deem worth expelling your energy on. I don’t spend much time dwelling on experiences like the discrimination I experienced in Dunkin Donuts. Situations like these keep things in perspective for me and remind me of how differently I have to navigate through the world, but I don’t let them harbor down on me. How? Again, that goes back to self-care and leaning into your own community of support. If I reacted to every situation whether as blatant as the one in Dunkin Donuts or as overt as being talked down to, I would be burnt out and constantly angry. I am in no way encouraging you to put up with being ostracized or to tolerate ignorance. What I’m encouraging you to do is to protect your energy at all costs.

4. Take a moment to learn and grow from the added adversity that you have to experience as a person of color. I have reached a point in my life where I EXPECT growth from the most difficult things I’ve experienced and will experience. This perspective allows me to walk away from situations with something, and it keeps me grateful and grounded for my time here on this earth. For me, I have learned how to work really well and alongside other people, even with those who see the world completely different from the way I do. So, I guess that has been my silver lining. I know this is easier said than done, and we go through a lot as minorities, but, if you can somehow manage to find your silver lining it will make the most difficult experiences in these spaces somewhat bearable. 

Remember there was a time when people of color did not have access to these spaces. But, we deserve to be in them just as much as anyone else. And though being the only person that looks like you in a space time and time again can be seemingly difficult, know that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do even with the hurdles that have been placed in front of you. To the next person that asks me if I took their wallet. My response will be “Did you happen to know that I’m a college student, that I volunteer, that I work, and that I give back? What is it about me suggests that I took your wallet? Do you know that every time you make these assumptions you make it more difficult for me to be a black man navigating a white space? But nonetheless, I succeed at it anyway.”