Vulnerability and Passions

2017 was bittersweet. When I think back on 2017, I have no reason but to be grateful and hopeful for 2018. After the hurricane hit my home, I was depressed. I had become so burned out from school and was stressed from the hurricane’s effect on my home and family that I reflected those feelings back on myself. Life is all about perspective and at the time I didn’t carry the right one. I kept a smile on my face, but I wasn’t happy with myself. Please know that you are not a reflection of every single thing that happens in your life. There is so much that we ought to celebrate, even and especially when it seems like there isn’t anything to. I didn’t celebrate the many small victories because I didn’t see them as victories. #perspective Thank you God for all that you have challenged and blessed me with this year! Y'all, please join me in celebrating US more in 2018. 

Along the lines of celebrating, during the last 4 months of this year I got to live and experience my passion. Serving as a death investigation intern at the D.C. Office of the Chief Medical Examiner has been one of the most eye-opening, fulfilling, and humbling experiences of my life. We truly have to trust our journey and timing. Having had this clinical experience during one of the hardest semesters of my pre-med journey thus far has kept me grounded and motivated. As I walked through those doors, each day, each case, and each person taught me something valuable. Know that what you have your heart set towards is possible. The journey may not be easy, and it shouldn’t be. If it is truly your passion and it is truly what you want, you will put in the work and stick it out. The question is… are you willing to wake up every single day and grind for it? 

Revitalizing Your Spirit

It’s very easy for our spirit to become cast down by what isn’t seemingly going right in our lives. We function on depression. We stop talking to God or whatever higher power we rely on. We separate ourselves from family and friends, and we wallow in despair, doubt, and depression. Be careful, those D’s can be dangerous. The last couple months of 2017 were difficult, and my spirit sure took the blow. But having gone through it, I realized that there were two things that revitalized my spirit along the way. 

1. Take a break from life responsibilities. I spend most of my week and weekends studying. When I’m not studying at home, I’m at work studying. As a pre-med student it never ends, because consistency is what brings REAL results! But, I make an effort to take days off. Over Thanksgiving break, my sister came to D.C. and I spent the entire break with her. For past breaks, I always used that time to get ahead in my studies and put in some extra hours. However, I was suffering terribly from “pre-med burnout”. Having had a real break made all the difference. Take days off, your spirit will thank you. 

2. Pay attention to how you cope with stress and overcome adversity. Now that my perspective is different about my circumstances, my mind is intact and my balance has been restored. Moving forward, I have a better handle on how to deal with the unexpected. The more you learn about yourself during times like those, the more fulfilling your life will become. I am still learning so much about myself and I do not have all the answers. But I do know what keeps me going and where my faith stems from #godfidence. It is this understanding and knowledge of self that keeps me propelling forward.

Support

Don’t take the support that you have for granted. The support of family, friends, colleagues, and an entire village and community can make all the difference during a rough patch. I am very thankful and appreciative of all the people who extended a hand out to me when things were difficult last semester and during 2017. If I didn’t tell you, THANK YOU. Make it your mission to tell the people who love, respect, and support you how much you appreciate that support. Let them know how different your life might look without them being in it. 

I am also thankful for the wisdom and lessons that I’ve learned from others. A wise person once told me, “Make sure that when you have the means to do so, that you are kind enough to house and pull people in”, and that has stuck with me until today. My hope is one day to be the person that my mother and mentors throughout my life have been to me. They made clear to me talents and abilities that I didn’t even know that I had. This support has made me believe in myself especially when I didn’t think I was deserving or capable. 

It is with the support of others that I have learned how to support and love myself a little better in 2017. Don’t forget to support yourself. Love yourself. And take care of yourself. I know we hear this often, but it can make ALL the difference. If you’re reading this and you don’t have the support of family or a friend, be that support for yourself and be that support for someone else. Something crucial I learned during my time as a death investigation intern at OCME is that the world does not exist in a vacuum and thus we ought to view the world as what it truly is, a shared space. I plan to extend my hand out to others, both teaching and learning from them as much as I can in 2018 and beyond, and you should too. 

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2018, I hope you’re ready for me and that you bring the heat! 2017, thank you! Thank you for the lessons learned above.