This Decade’s Moments of Truth
It’s admirable that in only one decade the extremely selective socialite became the founder of a platform that, according to State of the Territory News, explores and encourages finding one’s authentic voice in the 21st century through building healthier routines and lifestyle choices. Reflecting on these past 10 years has made me gather some profound moments of truth.
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You may never see your biggest blessing coming.
My first moment of truth is that what I am MOST proud of I didn’t plan for, dream of, or even see coming… and that is this space right here that I have cultivated. I always had a natural knack for writing. In 2011, I had won a local writing competition on St. Thomas and then in 2015 I was a national top 50 finalist of the Selma Essay contest. Those were the seeds that planted Finding Your Voice.
I used to think that this can’t be the same guy who prefers small intimate social settings, was afraid walking into rooms filled with new faces, and often speaks only when spoken to. I’ve realized that I can be both things. I can be quiet in person and loud on paper at the exact same time. There is duality and complexity to me. Let me serve as an example of how limitless the possibilities are for all of us. I firmly believe that beyond what we aspire to be is buried within us waiting to be dug up, unlocked, and manifested — we just don’t know it and can’t see it coming.
We’ve all got some intentional soul work to do. Are you going to do it sooner rather than later?
I took some time this month to sit in silence and think deeply about every single year of this past decade. It made me proud of how much I’ve overcome and inspired for all the work ahead I have get to do on myself. After all, that sort of work never stops. This decade has taught me about the importance of building self-care into my life, implementing my own grind-delayed gratification-reward system, creating a morning routine, reciting daily life affirmations, and investing in an idea journal to fuel me.
Intentional soul work has pushed me to dispel some limiting beliefs, establish clear boundaries for myself and others, strip away entitlement, and expand awareness surrounding my own emotional intelligence. Entering this next decade, my hope is to attend therapy to continue this exploration and to become an advocate and a voice for this work. Truthfully speaking, this soul work has proved to be absolutely essential during this transitional phase of my life where adulting has literally left me feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and completely lost. I’m not sure where I would be without it.
Model what you aim to attract.
Our abundance and blessings start with us, within us. I have been infinitely blessed and touched by some amazing people who have literally changed the trajectory of my life this past decade. Classmates turned into roommates, teachers turned into life long mentors and life coaches, acquaintances became family, and old friends became strangers. I recognize that I ultimately decide and have power over who comes into my life and who I meet — and this is simply by making an active effort to be what I need from others.
You want to learn from that amazing professional you look up to? Email them with consistent enthusiasm and witness the same enthusiasm pour back into the mentorship. You’re hoping for new friends who love and support you? Love and support yourself by showing up for yourself in all the ways you’d want a friend to. I’ve found that when I spend more time focusing on what characteristics and habits I would like to consciously cultivate and model, the abundance of attractions come flowing right in.
Don’t compare old and future versions of yourself to the current version.
I randomly re-downloaded the Tumblr app recently and stumbled upon my old digital journal. I forgot that long before I started doing writing and speeches, I simply used to write there, to process there. My mother told me that I’ve always been a deep thinker, confronting her with questions about life that she didn’t know where to begin to answer. Although, I am more intentional about soul work, self-care, and my emotional intelligence these days, revisiting my Tumblr was prove that at my core I was always committed to these things. This makes me believe that I didn’t give Ajayi at that time enough credit and it makes me wonder if in the next decade I’m going to look back and say I didn’t do the same here either.
It’s easy for us to look back at the old version of ourselves and either think in comparison to now we weren’t enough or reminisce on how ambitious and accomplished we WERE, were being the operative word here. As a daydreamer who loves sitting right beside my bedroom window, it’s also easy for me to feel so proud when I think of future Ajayi. In all that dreaming, what usually I fail to acknowledge is that the man I aspire to become needed CURRENT me to plant those seeds so that he could enjoy the fruit. Part of the reason why I love this space so much is because it has allowed me to reflect on the resilience of old Ajayi while acknowledging the courage of current Ajayi.
Thank your current self. You are doing the best you can. There is no need to compare this version to the old or future one.