A Note to Our Past Selves: Bayadir Mohamed-Osman
Throughout our experiences we grow, change, elevate, and expand. As time goes by, we learn a little more about ourselves, our hopes and desires, and the way in which we see the world. Things that may have once troubled us may seem trivial at the moment and we become stronger from the painful experiences of the past. We learn how to move forward and traverse the difficulties. We look unto tomorrow, hoping that it brings along with it hope, light, and joy. In a note to our past selves, we underline the harsh but essential truths that we have come to discover and provide a guide for overcoming both internal and external conflicts that we have come to witness.
Bayadir Mohamed-Osman, is a 20 year old Muslim-Black Sudanese American woman. She was born in Sudan and her family found refuge in Maryland seeking political asylum from her country. Her ultimate life long goal is to serve God and to work within the preventative medicine industry. She emphasizes that her name means so much to her. “It has so much history, language, culture and family behind of it that adds value to who I am (BMO).”
Bayadir: I’ve found that by realizing that my happiness lies inside of me I’ve been able to traverse the difficulties of the world. My success lies in my Lord and not in worldly things. This goes in line with both understanding and discovering the purpose of why I was put here. Finding peace for me sometimes means disconnecting myself from outside entities. I also do Duaas (supplemental prayers) and talk to God as a friend. “He alone has the power to present to you peace in different vessels each time (BMO)”.
When I asked Baya what advice she would offer to herself from 10 years ago, I remember her telling me that she has learned that this life is temporary. She stated that “everything is a test, to test your faith and your peace.. and your strength in God.” “When I was ten years old a few years later I started wearing my hijab. And I didn’t really understand what that meant at first. I had to go through difficulties with it to understand its value and its power.” She told me that she believes the best way we can learn is through our experiences (the good and the bad). When we learn how to take away something positive from the unexpected and daunting struggles that life graces us with, we learn how to keep the light in.
Ajayi: If I told you to write a note to your past self, what would you say?
Bayadir: You’re a queen. You’re going to meet a great deal of people in your life that are going to teach you how to love yourself and others. They may do it by being compassionate, kind souls you come across or they may show you your worth by disrespecting you. You’ll learn about why you were put on this earth. You’re going to find your passions and live to see things you once dreamed of that seemed impossible. No one is going to complete you, because you’re already complete. You’re going to find a partner that will complement you and serve God with you. He’ll be there for you. (side bar: haven’t found him yet lol). You will learn how to forgive yourself and give tough love to yourself in ways that are not de-habilitating. Do not be afraid of your individuality and who you are. You’ll learn one day, like I did that what you experience is all a part of the journey to who you want to become.
“Simply live by seeing the queen inside of you.”
The value in this blog piece is thinking about where we’ve come, what we’ve overcome, and to reflect on what we all have learned. I encourage you to take some time and write a note to yourself from about ten years ago. What would you have liked someone to tell you or what would you have wanted to know? Though this may bring you back to experiences that you may not want to relive, remember that character is built, purpose is established, and growth is achieved through reflecting on those experiences.
P.S. Special thanks to Bayadir for sharing your story and spreading light!
